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I want a theremin.

There, I said it. Why do more people not know about these things? The theremin was "one of the earliest electronic musical instruments, and the first musical instrument played without being touched". Basically, it has two aerials which detect how close the player's hands are - one controls the pitch of the note, and one controls the intensity. So, if you wave at it, it'll squeal back at you. If you've ever listened to music and waved your hands in a sort of "visualisation" of the song, you've got an inkling of what it's like to play the theremin, although, of course, I'm sure it's closer to trying to play the trombone. This should make it clear how it works.

If you don't think you've heard a theremin before, think again: they've been used in songs by Muse, The Pixies, Portishead, the Rolling Stones, System of a Down, Led Zeppelin, and the Beach Boys, among others.

A little known fact is that some of the most prolific players of the theremin are, in fact, cats. It's true!. However, humans can do a pretty decent job, as this rendition of Gnarls Barkley's song "Crazy" shows. However, predictably, our new machine overlords manage to take our achievements and do a much better job.

In conclusion, if you simply refuse to buy me a fez, I will graciously accept a theremin instead.