There's no "I" in "Win"
Do you guys remember those halcyon days, when petrol was cheap and twitter worked properly? Ah, bliss was it in that dawn to be alive.
Hey, did you guys know that twitter has a web interface!? No ways! I s'pose this will suffice until the IM interface comes back, eh?
I'm the last person left in the office this Friday afternoon. That's what I get for working so late. (Times given are Cape Town Standard ...
Please tell me that the bios on techleader.co.za are supposed to be ironic?
May 23 is World Turtle Day. Apparently last year, a turtle named Death-Ray was made Turtle of the Year. That's all kinds of awesome.
60% of the top 25 domains is 15 domains. That's 2.5 domains controlled by each member of the Elite Six.
We call them "vanity" numberplates because "Being a complete tool" didn't make the list of Seven Deadly Sins. (Looking at you, "KRONOS-WP")
(Before you say anything, yes, @vhata knows what an illeist is.)
@vhata is going to talk about himself in the third person for a while.
I spilled a bit of pronutro in the bath.
Getting a cup of tea. This fascinating information brought to you and made possible only by the power of modern technology and innovation
Spend the balance of your mortality screaming drunkenly by a body of water while nubile females nervously tolerate your degenerate behaviour
Top hats and monocles!
Acid stains you; Drugs cause cramp; Razors pain you; Rivers are damp; Guns aren't lawful; Nooses give; Gas smells awful; May as well live.
141 days into the year 2008, and I still have no flying car, and can't take a pill instead of having to sleep. Science has Failed.
Why do people put empty milk cartons in the fridge? And why do I put them back in the fridge when I find them and have to replace them?
Under the hedge near your house lives an entire civilization of 1 inch tall people. But like everybody else, they don't know that you exist
Iron Man may be the greatest cinematic production of our lifetime. I weep that Laurence Olivier wasn't around to perfect its cast.
It looks like you're trying to write a tweet. Would you like it to: [ ] say something witty; [ ] say what you're doing; [X] Don't ask again
I will shower when Tibet is free.
Shivering with anticip
There's nothing worse than waking up in the middle of the night, and then realising that there's only half an hour till your alarm goes off
It's not that I *should* go to bed that motivates me. More that I *could* go to bed. Screw you, Freedom. I don't even know what I'll do.
Holy Mother of Shiva, Picasso's full name is too long for twitter! Seriously, his initials: PDJF de PJNM de los RC de la STMPCR y Picasso
HP Lovecraft learned to read aged 2 and was writing complex poetry by 6. More impressive if he found a rhyme for "Cthulhu" [Cracked.com]
Taking a survey about social media on twitter *might* possibly give you a slightly skewed result set.
Hello, cajun spiced chicken sandwich with avocado, tomato and cream cheese. Glad you could join us.
Little bit unnerving to be greeted by the burly caretaker with the cigarette hanging from his lower lip with a "hey you"
My keen sense of justice is warmed by the fact that the red two-seater sports car that cut me off got caught by a speed camera just after.
I suppose I should get to the office. This nose isn't going to pick itself all day.
like something shambling just out of sight in the forest, like the thing that brushes your leg in the lagoon, Monday is upon us.
Warning: being awake can cause irritability, headaches, depression, and frequent urination.
May 18: International Museum Day, and the Festival of the God Pan in Ancient Greece. See if you can combine the two!
"Pound", from the Latin word 'pendere', "to weigh". The "lb" abbreviation is from Latin "libra" (scales). The money was worth 1lb of silver
Is it bad when "where everybody knows your name" is the laundry?
You're my third least favourite child.
Away from the ozone, away from all the bars, and the beautiful people in their shiny BMW motor cars.
the Vatican's head astronomer recently ruined believing in aliens by saying it is actually not necessarily contrary to Scripture
Coffee's succor, the only thing that keeps me seeking the sweet relief of death.
Whose black shawl is in the boot of my car?
Where the hell am I, and what day is it?
Time for a three-hour videoconference with the guys in San Francisco.
It's quiet today. ... Too quiet. *glances over shoulder*
I'm pretty sure that "twits" is not only shorter, but more accurate, than "tweeple" (or "tweople" if you prefer)
What are these "internets"? You kids, with your autogyros, and bi-focular spectacles, and electrical difference engines! Confound it all!
what is that road worker trying to say when he waves his flag? is it "slow down"? Because he really just makes me feel like an F1 driver.
3G? LUXURY! In my day, we used to have to whistle 2400 baud into a tape-recorder and post it to the service provider.
Saw two dead bodies on my way home. Came home and tweeted about it. Now going to gym. By the way, modern society says hi.
my new favourite emotion: "appropriate fist-shaking indignation"
"Trying to make digital files uncopyable is like trying to make water not wet." - Bruce Schneier
I want to say, I wish every day was curry day, but then I wouldn't be this pleased that today is curry day. http://tinyurl.com/4qrfwx
(now, of course, I regret twittering inanely about censoring myself.)
I seem to be censoring myself today. What happened to Jonathan "Shoot your mouth off now, regret it later" Hitchcock?
Yes, you. I'm talking about YOU.
Dear Joburg, The weather was up at dawn packing for the roadtrip. It should be arriving in a day or so, depending on the Bloem stopover
South African Twitterers! It's not all about how many followers you have! Oh my word, is *everything* a popularity contest for you?
The road outside my office seems to have kamikaze sqriwwels.
Goddamn right, Mr E, it's a beautiful day.
Look, the sunrise is spectacular, the tea tastes great, I'm sure it's going to be a lovely day. But PLEASE, just ten more minutes of sleep?
wait, what, is this thing still on?
Wildebeest are awesome. The gnicest work of gnature in the zoo.
It always amuses me when people apologise for saying something in the wrong place, by saying their apology in the wrong place.
Getting business cards that say "Jonathan Hitchcock: Renaissance man, all-round winner, and perfect gentleman"... Am I underselling myself?
Don't go on holiday. It's bad for you. It'd bad for your children. Bank manager digs it. For sure.
Oh, frabjous day. Calloo! Callay! I chortle in my joy.
Robots are everywhere, and they eat old peoples' medicine for fuel.
okay, okay, goddammit, I'm awake.
We're gonna go ahead and call Operation Supper a success, even if it overstepped the time limits we imposed. Bring it home!
Dos dedos, mis amigos. Everything's cool.
my credit card went to the Internet, and all I got was this lousy bank statement.
it seems that I've become the go-to guy for people with landlord problems - some random in Joburg is asking me for help now
Everybody run! Bob has got a gun!
Burning wasn't any good for Joan of Arc, and I think you'll find that soup doesn't enjoy it any more than she did.
I must go down to the sea again, to the lonely sea and the sky. And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by.
There's nothing worse than leaving your music on shuffle, and suddenly having some of @darb's hippie crap ooze out of your earphones
I know what you're thinking, and it's a really bad idea.
On this day in history: Nothing exciting happened. Nothing. It is utterly uninteresting and banal. Just... Just go back to bed, okay?
It all makes perfect sense, expressed in dollars and cents; pounds, shillings and pence.
I mean, roofies eventually wear off, right?
When I named this drink, it was incredibly witty and clever. Maybe that was because I'd had several of them before I came up with it.
You can't kill Michael Malloy
who knew that bamboo and burny beef could be so awesome?
We are running on time, and running a good session, and running out of coffee. We're all about the running.
does it count as "being at work" if you're not working?
He is what he is not, and he is not what he is. Godspeed, Sartre, you cryptic fancy bastard.
what a way to be remembered: http://tinyurl.com/6luqlx
I've been thinking a lot recently about the whole Kennedy assassination thing. Turns out, though, someone else already did it.
They all float down here. When you're down here with us, you'll float too.
The most amazing thing just happened.
In your FACE, destiny! I slap the wrist of the cruel hand of Fate. The 7-11 and I have conspired to thwart your milk deprivation plans.
KHAAAAAAAAAAAN! (There's no milk. This means no tea and no porridge. Oh, the humanity, Refrigerator, you have betrayed me.)
The wind is a torrent of darkness, among the gusty trees. The moon is a ghostly galleon, tossed on cloudy seas. Also, I'm going home.
Freaky: famous mathematician Kurt Godel's wife was hospitalized and, too paranoid to eat food made by anyone else, he starved to death
Idea: invent a way to send anybody on the internet (identified by an "address") a message longer than 140 chars (with file "attachments"?)
Once again, the editorial board apologises. It was John, 4th Earl of Sandwich, who invented what I just had for lunch, not George.
Raise your glasses to George, the Earl of Sandwich. One hell of a guy. A true renaissance man. And a demon in the kitchen.
now tweeting: http://url.omnia.za.net/...
Look, coffee machine, it's quite simple. One REAL size mug. Not one dinky doll size thimbleful. Otherwise, fine job, keep up the good work
The HIIIIIIIIIIILLS are ALIIIIIIIVE, with the sound of meee-YOOOOSIIIIC
We apologise for our editorial team's error. We meant the sun had a free 24 hour trip around us, of course. *cough*
Another free 24 hour trip around the sun. I suppose there are upsides to living on this rock.
oh god it burns us. get it off! it's 2am!
I WILL SLEEP WHEN TIBET IS FREE
I should write a script that automatically blogs/tweets/posts saying "I'm not dead" if I die and thus don't log in for a month or so
I think the mistake a lot of us make is thinking the state-appointed shrink is our friend.
Leaving your lights on all day will only highlight your car's pathetic reliance on electricity for such trivial things as "opening windows"
Come, let us go then, you and I, when the evening is stretched out against the sky. Go home, I mean. Enough Prufrock.
This just out: Oudtshoorn was originally called Veldschoendorp. Do they not have enough to deal with as it is?
Finally, I fix the thing that bothered me while working on the thing that distracted me while avoiding doing the thing I'm meant to do.
A teacher that nobody learns from is a failure.
The sign said "Bear to the left". So, of course, I went right.
Last week is the new two weeks ago.
Go into my stable, and take my finest stallion. His name is Ripper.
All men, whilst they are awake, are in one common world. But each of them, when he is asleep, is in a world of his own.
look, it's not that I really WANTED you all to go. It's just that I have this allergy to you all staying. Biological. Honest!
Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortals ever dared to dream before.
I'm the paint you tasted.
Time to swim home. Hope the lagoon isn't too choppy.
You can take a horse to a development server, but you can't make him deploy the full application suite.
Hay guize. It's not me, it's you: http://tinyurl.com/59ygkt
this just out! iPhone coming to South Africa! You heard it from me first! Stop press!
The rain, it raineth every day.
The evening, stretched out against the sky, like a patient etherized upon a table
If your thoughts are rubbish merely / Don't express yourself too clearly
If I were a czar, I'd waste hours "serfing".
everything needs tags, not categories. I want to label, not box.
so far so good. they showed me where the coffee machine is. good enough for my first day.
time to head off for the first day at the new job. Hope their red carpet has been dry cleaned.
It's coming from the feel that this ain't exactly real, or it's real but it ain't exactly there...
the prodigal can-opener returns, its tail between its legs. it didn't even invite its pretty abductor in, upon getting home. Pah.
"Unknown Artist - Track 8" - that is my second-favouritest song ever!
porridge update; I think I pretty much have this process in the bag. next step: master Toast!
has anyone ever solved the duvet-in-chair problem? how does one wrap the duvet around one? bits of one always stick out!
Dear ABSA, 8:30am doesn't fall under "working hours" if it's a Sunday - don't SMS me then. Kthx.
(it is also Alice Liddell's birthday - the girl about whom Alice in Wonderland was written. Curiouser and curiouser.)
Happy Star Wars Day. May the 4th be with you.
I've found a new friend, underneath my pillow
Good news, everybody! The porridge was not a complete failure. More updates as events warrant.
do you fancy Boris?
cursed by awesome
@alphabetic although blessed, cows don't exactly feign gregariousness. Hilarity is just kinda lost, many new oxen pleasure queens! Really!