"I have CDO. It's like OCD, but the letters are in alphabetical order LIKE THEY SHOULD BE."
@brookiepie: I do appreciate the few occasions when people refer to me as a wit. It comforts me that they're at least half right about me.
@RichMulholland: Yes, and heroin isn't a multivitamin pill, but at least it feels rad, right? And that's all that matters, right?
If I ever meet myself, I'll hit myself so hard, I won't know what hit me.
Hats off to you, diligent wikipedia editor. I salute you for your attention to detail: http://is.gd/38dR
Of all the deities that go all out to piss on my life, I hate Sokar, Egyptian God of Decay, the most (maybe except that miserable sod Fate).
If @kerry_anne is going to be (a) so trusting, and (b) so petrified of spiders, she's going to get spiderrolled innit
The future has been cancelled. Go home.
Somebody needs to update this page: http://www.thepresidency...
I used to drink a lot. I mean, I still do, but I used to, too.
Ten people on my flat's body corporate just quit, including the sanitation officer (who had said he wouldn't). My flat still rocks, though.
Addendum to today's todo list in previous tweet: buy new language primer, double-check grammar of all tweets.
To do today: Hope for less; come to terms with a bleak and fruitless future; finishing testing new project features; cry yourself to sleep.
Happy New Year! Today is Primidi, 1st day of Vendémiaire, the first month of the year 217. It's also Spring Equinox: longer days approach!
Monday is named after the moon (even "lundi" in French comes from 'luna'). The moon is responsible for lunacy. Coincidence? I THINK NOT.
September 19: not only Talk Like A Pirate Day, but Hermione Granger's birthday, and the birthday of the emoticon ( http://is.gd/2PPP )
All you "pirates": the way you're talking is simply the way Robert Newton talked in the 1954 movie Treasure Island. #historical_inaccuracy
@EveD: I didn't know the Automobile Association picked up their members' kids for them! That's awesome.
@arbitraryuser: oh, gosh, look at the time, it's hypocrite o'clock
@DylanBrent: For starters, the new twitter doesn't seem to have a way for me to add a big "Irony" label to my tweets.
Join my twitter group "I hate the new twitter layout" - if 500,000 people join, we can get the good old one back. Why fix what ain't broke!!
My taskbar is editorialising about Cape Town weather. "9°C, feels like 7.6°C"
We have always been at war with Eastasia.
WHAT. I cleaned out those feeds in my RSS reader just yesterday, Why are they filled with crap today?
No, WAYS! I am *totally* going to be in San Francisco at the same time as this event! http://upcoming.yahoo.co... !!!
I'll tell you a story: some years back, when I was about 17, there used to YOU'RE ALL USELESS GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE the end.
Citizenship Day in the USA. Fun fact: "under god" was only added to the pledge of allegiance in 1953 to differentiate them from the Commies.
Awesome new pastime: wasting a tweet to ask "where u get that", because "google.com" is too long to type.
@darb: you should write about this outrage on your web blog site, so that the internets can know. Never forget!
Cape Town, the most entrepreneurial city in SA: 190% more likely to start a new business (Joburgers only 60%) - http://is.gd/2EQs
Hint: if somebody isn't following you, calling them an elitist snob or demanding that they follow you isn't going to improve matters.
So I just checked on the wikipedia project, and they STILL haven't finished it. It's been in dev for over 7 years! What's up, slackers?
Completely forgot to renew my poetic license. Gonna have to be prosaic all weekend. It'll be as boring as a boring thing.
@denhamcoote: of course not. I have People who do that sort of thing for me.
˙sǝıʇǝuıu ǝɥʇ uı ʞɔɐq ǝƃɐssǝɯ ɐ ǝpoɔuǝ oʇ sʎɐʍ unɟ ǝɹǝʍ ʎɹɐuıq puɐ xǝɥ
@pierrenel: we're also glad that you whining ex-pats are on that side of the pond.
@EveD: oh my word that's awful! Is your car okay?
Hey! If (and only if) you're using Google Chrome, please have a look at http://vhata.net/files/2...
@JoDuxbury: the adwords voucher definitely came from Google. I would still call it "spam" though, damn them.
Has anybody made a "McCain and Abel" joke yet? Come on, surely?
@EveD: you and the rest of South Africa, it seems.
Twitter shows 2 more followers than the API returns. Page 2 & 3 on twitter.com only show 19 people, the rest 20. How do you break that bad?
Little old lady didn't understand the "Snakes on a Corsa" bumper sticker on my car. Sorry ma'am, it's a meme.
@nxsy: if you read the source of the page, they offer a full refund if the earth is destroyed and the page didn't reflect it.
The LHC beams are travelling at 99.9% of the speed of light = 1800814880000 furlongs per fortnight
Keep tabs on the end of the world: http://hasthelargehadron...
Beware of quantum ducks. Quark, quark.
Busy explaining quantum physics to a copywriter, because she wants to know why the world's going to end tomorrow. Charm quarks and gluons!
Hello birds! Hello sky! *skips*
@kylewhittington: say hi to Twhirl
I don't think I really understand soup.
September GeekDinner announced! http://tinyurl.com/5mauka
On your 21st birthday, you drink because you can. Every birthday after that, you drink because you must.
The awesome thing about the Internet is that I can order my own copies of every "Desperate Housewives" episode ever, on DVD! Twice!
@EveD: I've never owned a TV, don't think I ever will (except maybe as a Wii monitor one day?)
You make a tasteless midget joke and instead of losing followers, you gain new ones? Oh internets, you never stop surprising me!
I was just reading about this midget that got pickpocketed. Honestly, how could anyone stoop so low?
@darb: google tells me that 19100 people are talking about why it's an anagram, at least. Which is *another* win for Uncle Steve.
"Laptop machines" is an anagram of "Apple Macintosh". It's like Steve Jobs was planning this since September 1979.
@kerry_anne: yes, you will die. That, I can say with absolute surety.
People actually admit to being "PHP evangelists"? Isn't that like saying you're a big proponent of Thalidomide as a morning sickness cure?
Wait, what? It's Friday? BARKEEP! A PINT OF YOUR FINEST ALE, IF YOU WILL! Thank you, my good man.
@lukehardiman: The difference is, God doesn't wander around Dublin thinking that he's Bono
Revolutionary new Edge Detection Algorithm! http://is.gd/2fwn
Off to lunch at Greens with @VinnyLingham
@warrenellis: it's Friday today, and that's the day you give us more filler, right?!
Bjorn from ABBA lost his memory, can't remember even being in ABBA. Talk about getting a lucky break! http://is.gd/2f9g
Be careful of dishonesty: It can create the hot water in which later instances of honesty will land you.
Sheesh. Turn your back for an instant, and suddenly everywhere is anarchy, mediocrity and secessionism.
Dear iTunes, Now is not the time for the Rolling Stones. Sorry to break it to you. As you were.
@JoDuxbury: Die Mystic Boer in Stellies is proud of its authentic Afrikaans *non-exotic* fare: die nachos, die burrito, die lasagne, etc
Saw @JoDuxbury standing in the middle of Woolworths, staring misty-eyed into the middle distance, contemplating Nachos. Was loth to disturb.
@cow_grrrl: install mod_layout for apache, add "LayoutMerge On" and "LayoutFooter /googleanalytics.html" to the config. Bing.
@SomebodyRandom: LOL! (this tweet offered with no accompanying commentary, opinion, or other form of redeeming factor.)
"It's not you, it's me. *I* don't like you."
Direct quote from @nxsy: "Yeah, I know, I don't think humans are supposed to use my website"
I can explain the feather boa and stickiness all down one arm. I can hazard a guess as to where I am. But the tattoo? I'm drawing a blank.
*pats life on the head* You're not so bad, old chap.
It's an ill wind that gathers two in the bush.
@EveD: is that like making the mistake *OF ASSUMING* that being a writer goes hand in hand with having good grammar?
Was Mr Morse's first name Gerhardus? He left a secret message in his code: ". .. ... ...." = "EISH"
New idea: class-action suit against twitter for not making the "do not operate while under the influence/hungover" label prominent enough
@kerry_anne: from the Nahuatl word xocolatl (xocolli, "bitter" + atl, "water") - associated with the Aztec fertility goddess Xochiquetzal
"It is allegedly 6 o'clock, and here's Tom with the alleged weather." "Thank you, Mary, there's an alleged cold front coming up..."
@kerry_anne: it'll be in the last place you look for it, you know. I always find things in the last place I look for them.
OOOoooOOOOoooo everybody's an expert in esoteric sports terms straight after the Olympics.
@EveD: presumably one of you will set it up and stack the coffee, then the other will do the actual spike over the net?
@teepog: have a real blag feed; a phoblog feed; an activity stream (google it) feed; and a firehose feed that aggregates them all
For a good laugh, call (+1 202) 456-1414
Wikipedia says abdicate, abrogate and arrogate are "commonly" misused words. WIkipedia has a touching faith in people's vocabulary.
Yegads, this week is dragging.