Jonathan Hitchcock (@vhata)

Cape Town, South Africa

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @vhata ever

October 2008

Trust Google to think of all the precautions (see the first two lines of http://www.google.com/ro... )

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@EveD: You ask why ThoughtLeader editors don't fix grammar mistakes. I ask why "thought leaders" can't do it right in the first damn place.

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Sarah Palin Vice President [ is an anagram of ] Is Perhaps Devil Incarnate

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So, I'm just saying, have you all considered what you would do and how you'd feel if he didn't win? Like, just... What if? What then?

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You say "guerrilla marketing campaign", I say "scam"

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The little hut that sits in no-man's-land on the border between attempted irony and FAIL: http://is.gd/5d90

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@abigvictory: "with 222 stab wounds"... WHO HAD TO COUNT THOSE?

via twhirl in reply to abigvictory

@badbanana: For all your revolution manifesto news, visit ronpaultop.com

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Kinda disappointed that Google Sets doesn't feel the Zamboni love: http://is.gd/56Sv Upside: lots of good ideas for Ms Palin for the future.

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Intoxicated with the benefits of multi-tasking getting ready, just for one second there, eating toast in the shower looked like a good idea.

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Oh Google, why do you keep turning safe-search back ON? I *like* the pictures you hit me with when I'm really looking for manatee photos.

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My new encryption technique: I simply put my messages in the second paragraph of my emails. It's brilliant. Nobody ever reads them.

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You know those iTunes vouchers that say "scratch off gently with a coin"? I used my key. ROUGHLY. #more_of_a_maverick_than_McCain

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Congrats! Your repeated facebook invites to your Web Strategy Seminar wins you a Friend Removal! Way to market yourself, marketing person!

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#27dinner traffic synergy social media networking blogosphere conversaton 2.0 resources SEO community folksonomy aggregator awesome.

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My new avatar is dedicated to @Sznq, winner of the Best Twitter Unfollow Reason Olympiad 2008 (http://is.gd/4VlA)

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Today, on "how to fake enthusiasm about a brand and brown-nose it about its marketing, in order to win a prize": http://is.gd/4VbH

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Dear Everybody Who Just Got My Reply-To-All When I Meant To Just Hit Reply, Hi, how are you, I am fine. Please don't laugh at me. Love, -J

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If there's one thing worse than making a whining "whatever-sucks"-type "blog", it's repeatedly crowing that people noticed the rants.

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Does Rachel Maddow know that he has a girl's name?

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♥ my country. South African crazy manages to beat American crazy every single time: http://is.gd/4Him (@tj and @gruber might enjoy that)

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People that have been homeless: Halle Berry, Jim Carrey, Charlie Chaplin, Daniel Craig, William Shatner: http://is.gd/4xsY

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Finally, my belch-and-fart-joke tweet has lost me a follower. Took longer than I expected. Byebye @Sznq :)

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The locksmith got lost on the way to my house (less than 2km away from their shop). This does not fill me with hope.

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Hvng my rl mrnng vwl mvmnt. ai ey oi oe oee

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Unpacking after three weeks in California, the only clean stuff I have left is underwear. Put differently: my underwear was unused. #awkward

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I have discovered a truly marvellous piece of wit, which the margin of this twitter page is too narrow to contain.

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Not sure how this current meme works. I just want somebody to explain it to me. That's all I ask of you.

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My previous tweet didn't lose me any followers (yet)? Was it my prudish use of "belch" and "pass gas"? #social_experiment

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Sometimes, in my kitchen, I belch or pass gas really loudly, just in case my neighbours ever get any ideas about popping over to borrow milk

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You have to be more intelligent than this tweet to ride the internet.

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@toldorknown: DAF13 ue ea xmef kqmd. Fdk DAF12 az rad eulq.

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It seems the crossing the equator flips one's innate sense of which side of the sink the hot tap is on.

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Finished packing. Sitting in my hotel room, in my boxers, sipping Jack Daniels, wondering if I've hidden everything well enough. #TSA_sucks

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Going to the Apple Store to get my brand new (dented) iPod replaced: not how I envisioned spending my last few hours in San Francisco

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Hey, eBook site: 1. My friends will NOT thank me if I send them invites, and 2. Your credibility isn't helped by saying "you're friends"

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What fresh hell is this?!

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I dunno, I just don't find Futurama very realistic.

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Watching Jurassic Park on TV, and suddenly I'm 13 again, bouncing in the seat OMG DINOSAURS. Next: how much I love Ace of Base.

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Just noticed: twitter signs off emails "Best, Twitter". That's adorable. Also, tweeting about it? That's us, the #metarati, @nevenmrgan.

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Fox news on SNL last night: "everyone was a-twitter on what Governor Palin was going to do". Wait, Fox news watches the favrd leaderboard?

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The hotel cleaning girl just knocked on the door and came in to clean. Then said "sorry" and... just... left. Those porn movies LIED TO ME.

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"Opposition to nuclear power reached critical mass." What, and solar energy discussions became heated? Concerns about geothermal run deep?

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I have a strange feeling that I know who is going to win the US Elections. I'm @vhata, and I approve this presage.

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You wait a month and a half for @hotdogsladies to return, and when he finally does, they take away your @favrd. #global_meltdown

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There's nothing left on the @favrd front page but cockamamie.

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Eating some more Cheetos. I'm @vhata, and I approve this MSG.

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Oh PETA, never change. Nothing says "save the animals" like the objectification of women.

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I know "OMG JOE PLUMBER LIED" and "OMG KEATING RELATIONSHIP" and so on, but aren't these exactly the lame scandals we hate from McCain?

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It's a sad reflection on society when Joe the Plumber easily makes twitter's trending topics, but the return of @hotdogsladies barely blips

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Massive respect to Obama's campaigners: http://taxcut.barackobam... already comes up as a sponsored ad when you google "Joe the plumber"

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I can't wait for the NY Times article to be published in January 2012: "Joe the plumber: where is he now?"

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It's not *awfully* surprising that McCain isn't keen on torture.

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Obama: "We're going to go back to our profligate ways". I have NEVER used a profligate, Senator!

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@kellydeal @tj - did you see the Fox news interview with the plumber? Out of context, and into accusations of socialism: http://is.gd/49oM

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I had this awful dream that @hotdogsladies stopped tweeting for a month and a half.

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Co-worker, contemplatively: "The thing that really interests me about people who submit support queries is how much they fucking lie."

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http://is.gd/44gL predicts UFOs over Alabama at 4pm. My theory: it was 4pm GMT, everyone was watching the Apple announcement and missed it.

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@JohnCleese says that Michael is no longer the funniest Palin: http://tinyurl.com/3n22gn

via twhirl in reply to JohnCleese

October 13th is a federal holiday, so I'm wearing my poncho and sombrero to work to celebrate. Happy Caramba Day!

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I'm at Google HQ. Try the "extra strong" coffee. #bcafrica #barcampafrica

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"Your question is the most important of those that every thinking man can pose" http://tinyurl.com/fhes3

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Obama launches straight into 9-11. His last answer appealed to "you all as families". He's certainly trying to appeal to everyman. #debate08

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Obama is spending half his time debating properly, and half his time swiping at McCain. McCain is maybe 25-75...

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@mogrify's Mia articulates it better than at least half of youtube: http://tinyurl.com/5tblhd

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@nick: Naming months is illogical - I do only what is rational. Spocktober.

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Waking up in California to Pink Floyd and freshly brewed coffee - it's the life. They should put alarm timers on showers, too!

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Grandparents - so cute. "I'm going to send this just in case you can access your email from San Francisco". They telegraph it over, grandad.

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You know you're in California when there's chocolate soy milk in the fridge and a massage chair in the office.

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Here in San Francisco, I'm surrounded by winelands, in a gay capital, with a prison island offshore. It's like I never left Cape Town.

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Californians drive on the wrong side of the road, use weird units, and their clocks are all wrong. Apparently it's only 10:40am here?

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Beach Boys - California Dreaming, RHCP - Californication. I think that's enough hints to guess where I'll be for three weeks from tomorrow.

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RHCP - Dani California, Rob Zombie - (Go To) California, Soul Kid #1 - More Bounce in California, Phantom Planet - California.

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Eagles - Hotel California. Mamas & Papas - California Dreaming, Propellerheads - Take California. Guess where I'm going tomorrow?

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In what respect, Charlie?

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These guys are having more fun than you are: http://tinyurl.com/2jse4g

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"If you could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?" I'd have to say, a living person - a dead one'd be no fun.

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