Jonathan Hitchcock (@vhata)

Cape Town, South Africa

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @vhata ever

December 2008

It's definitely time for everybody to watch Mahna-Mahna again: http://tinyurl.com/3d3qzo

via web

"Number of goats vandalised includes goats thrown in the river." I love you, internets. http://is.gd/dNN8

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My new hobby: dressing like a fireman and singing wistful opera slightly off-key.

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Being a homeless Zimbabwean suddenly isn't so bad once you've been invited to go and eat duck and drink Irish coffees... Happy ChriFSMukkah!

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Seems that during the "Festive Season", it takes a lot less for my office to reach the nobody-else-is-here, take-pants-off stage.

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Today marks the end of the week-long Roman festival of Saturnalia. So... You know... Sober up, find your pants, and go home now.

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"If I cut off my own leg and ate it, would I weigh the same?"

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"Dear Diary, I know you asked me to stop writing to you, but..."

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Two underpants tweets in one day. I just like saying it. Underpants underpants underpants. It's a funny word! #that_makes_three

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Anyone else worry that laundries compare the number of days since your last visit to how many pairs of underpants you have, and judge you?

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Ever notice how everything you sit on feels like underpants?

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But mom, brandy is *medicinal*. Why do you hate scientific progress?

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White On Green - the true story of a boy who took his position of blackboard monitor to heart and brought back its past nobility

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What's that, boy? The wonder dog is in the well? (Always be Rin-Tin-Tin...)

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You can call me MacGyver, but don't make me grow a mullet. #tweeted_from_a_modified_hairdryer

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@JoDuxbury: and, as my link also explains, it was subsequently used for plumbing work, gaining the name "duct tape" ;-)

via twhirl in reply to JoDuxbury

@cluckhoff: named "ducktape" because it was used to waterproof ammunition in WW2: http://www.ducttapeguys....

via twhirl in reply to cluckhoff

I can hear each tick of the clock as it rhythmically destroys the precious moments of my life. Unrelated: it's Sunday afternoon.

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Gosh. The first civilian to buy a Hummer was Arnold Schwarzenegger: http://www.salon.com/new...

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So I bumped into a girl that works for Iziko Museums the other day. We swapped contact details. Her panelbeater says it'll cost me R2600.

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Friday afternoon fun: @iolproofreader is filling in for free for whoever isn't doing their job at Independent Online.

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@coda_za: see http://tinyurl.com/2ffn5f - worth a try, but you have to be willing to follow up...

via twhirl in reply to coda_za

Interested in people that offer you aggregations of sites about things in which you might be interested? Try http://guykawasaki.allto...

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Pro-tip: if it's 1am, and there's a chance you may send an "update details" invite to your ex-boss... Go to bed.

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(The 4th little piggy editorialised about the first three piggies on twitter, because that, like blogging, is a nice easy armchair activity)

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... But *that* little piggy used the net as a broad-reaching communication medium to raise funds, buy ads, hire lawyers and fight back.

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This little piggy wrote a blog post, this little piggy said ME TOO; this little piggy copy-pasted it, all about who QVC were trying to sue.

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The Internet: where shouting ME TOO loudly from a corner and then high-fiving each other is known as "making an impact"

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@EveD: you appear to be missing the blog post where somebody says something new and unrecycled, and where something actually happens.

via twhirl in reply to EveD

Spoiler: the last few chapters of the Internet are crap (and in my opinion non-canon) - I wouldn't bother reading the whole way through.

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When it comes to bolts from above, I've always been more Chicken Little than Isaac Newton

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Interested in lyrical photography, album reviews, political blogging and funny tweets? Check out http://abigvictory.allto...

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Bigups to @chalain, who takes a break from being funny to read my subconscious and work out where my lines come from when even I didn't know

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If you believe in yourself, believe in your dream, follow your star, and really have faith, you'll still get thumped by the bigger guy.

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Hang on. I thought South Africa had moved beyond state-sponsored oppression cornered in religious fundamentalism? http://is.gd/9SBr

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@abigvictory: "Pictures at an Exhibition" by Modest Mussorgskij?

via twhirl in reply to abigvictory

Guys! Bar any mishaps, I think we have just enough shirts to last till we can get the laundry in and get it back. This is it! YES WE CAN!

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Guys, my Monday is actually going okay. No complaints. Am I still allowed on the Internet, or does that disqualify me? #feeling_left_out

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