HALT! HAMMERZEIT! Sie können dieses nicht berühren...
"Pillage before plunder, what a blunder. Plunder before pillage, mission fulfillage."
Crack of dawn: woke up; went for jog; showered; breakfast; sang in car on way to work; arrived early; collapsed in quivering heap under desk
@EveD: if you must, it's a guy who grows fruit, veg & keeps cows, but can't present an attractive meal. (Now we're talking apples & oranges)
@EveD: I know, it's weird. I know a guy who can cook, but has no idea how to fix a car. Strange, hey?
What do Chris Martin (Coldplay), Michael Schumacher, Mark Zuckerberg (Facebook), and my boss Vinny Lingham have in common? http://is.gd/kN56
Sir: you kept your right blinker on, regardless of every which-way you veered and swerved. You made my trip... interesting. I salute you.
Woke up with red itchy welts all over my lower torso. Musta caught something wrestling with those hobos. #rash_wednesday
@JoDuxbury: don't worry about losing the Excite email account! Just switch to GMail - it's fast, reliable, and guarantees 99.9% uptime!
Former US Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan said on Tuesday the current GMail problems will surely be the worst since the 1930s.
Always choose rock. #ambiguous_advice_for_ambiguous_times
On that topic: pretty sure Crazy Pigeon Guy is feeding them some industrial-grade laxatives. My car now needs an industrial-grade wash.
I miss the days when you could recognise conspiracy theories because they were about lizard men secretly controlling world governments.
Hey guys, people have basically covered the fact that SynthaSite got funding. You can stop rererererereretweeting it now. http://is.gd/jSml
I have a nasty feeling that my breakfast was corked, but I'm going to go ahead and have a second glass anyway.
Things in Zimbabwe are so bad, they're stuffing their sausages with more and more bread. It's getting quite tough to make both ends meat.
You make some good points, but let me just be clear on one thing: even though my opinion may have changed, the fact that I am right has not.
Pyramid schemes are illegal; stupidity isn't. When did followers become the new money? Thursday starts with a bad taste: http://is.gd/jfwq
I'd like to thank the Academy; mom for believing in me; @guykawasaki for, um... Oh, and my followers! Without you this wouldn't be possible!
Son visage était comme celui d'un grand canard.
Managed to achieve Inbox Eleven. Merlin would be proud.
The thing I really respect about the band Europe and the song "The Final Countdown" is the way they rhyme "Venus" with "seen us".
I'm bringing the word "gramercy" back. You heard it here first.