This leftover pizza tastes of road.
Resources on this planet are scarce. Earn your oxygen, people.
At a Thai restaurant. Suspect that the waiter is a ninja, based on both uniform and the fact that he KNEW what we wanted. TWICE.
Wow. I would not hire me.
@EveD: on claiming to be an expert: "Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't" -Margaret Thatcher
Missed connection. You: spittle-flecked, whites of eyes showing, cursing. Me: deafened by your hooter, wondering what on earth I had done.
Didn't dream anything about @Zaius13, though. Good thing, too; neighbours are tired of hearing me wake up screaming. (Happy day to you too!)
Weird, true story: dreamed The Prodigy released a single called "Gorilla Sushi", just saw that it's @GorillaSushi's birthday. (Happy b'day!)
Hey, you know what destroys any vestige of humour that a tweet about being a blank tweet might have had? RETWEETING IT.
This tweet intentionally left blank.
Oh, hey there, @tweeteorites. Um. This is kinda awkward. With regard to, you know, timelines. And such. Could you, you know... Enable mine?
My petulant muttering and righteously indignant road-rage arises from the sure knowledge that anyone going faster than me is going TOO FAST.
Yeah, how you like me NOW, "Hot Wheels"? Take that! In. Your. FACE.