Under no circumstances let iTunes start playing "James Brown - I Feel Good" just before you plan to go to bed. It won't happen.
Harper-Collins's email exhorts me to "flood twitter and social media and create online buzz" about Twitter Wit. That's not how we roll, HC.
Oh, yeah, that's why I stopped reading twitter. (Hint: it's you.)
Le Petit Prince never had to deal with glare on a laptop screen. He might not have been so smug then.
You can tell it's Monday because the sunrise is just something that makes you unable to see your screen to carry on dealing with a crisis.
I joined another 95 cars trying to be clever and miss the N2 traffic, and we formed a little echidna lovetrain crawling through back streets
The Internet: rewarding selfishness, sociopathy and exploitation of your peers since the terms "SEO" and "Social Media" were coined.
Since I moved my technical mailing lists to gmail, the sponsored ads on the side have drifted from "Lose fat fast!" to "Free DivX codecs!"
HE"S STILL THERE.
He's just sitting on the balcony now. Watching me. Waiting. Do you think he knows my surname is Hitchcock? Has he seen "The Birds"?
Final score: Jonathan - 1; Pigeon - 0; Jonathan's floor - covered in guano. Damn pigeons.
Aha! Solution: pigeons apparently can't see in the dark.
WHERE THE HELL HAS IT GONE?!
I am still on step 1, of course.
Step 1: tweet about the bird trapped in your flat. Step 2: attempt to remove the bird from your flat.
Neither man nor pigeon has been adequately prepared by evolution for dealing with the latter being trapped in the former's living room.
Tonight's achievement: verifying the claim that peanut butter will remove chewing gum from hair. Next: finishing the rest of the wine.
Ever notice how, if you say it often enough, the word "deploy" just starts sounding ridiculous?
310 days, 10 hours, 53 minutes left till the first injury from World Cup Soccer hooliganism in South Africa!