Jonathan Hitchcock (@vhata)

Cape Town, South Africa

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @vhata ever

June 2010

Wait, why am I in Chicago?

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Recent high point: making the airline Transport Security Administration official snigger at my "civil aviation" shirt: http://is.gd/d7vXy

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And we just hit a score of 5 for "low-hanging fruit" on the #velocityconf #phrasecount. @acroll: we need an update!

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@_losh: my coffee-drinking neighbour rocks, too. "Speed is ..." *noisy-slurp* "faster web pages are ..." *noisy-slurp* #velocityconf

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Latest #velocityconf #phrasecount: "Low hanging fruit" - 4 strikes.

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And all the #velocityconf attendees prove they're geeks by tweeting about the fire alarm going off, instead of getting out of the building.

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This #velocityconf #Chef workshop is equal parts systems tutorial, rock concert, political rally and early nineties E-fuelled rave.

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My schedule for Velocity 2010: http://is.gd/cYJQw - that's a lot of words to cover the next three days... Then on to DevOpsDays!

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Weird confluence: the hotel I'm staying in for O'Reilly Velocity is the same one I stayed in for ISPCon in 2005...

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Scarred as we may be, "Tera's High Octane Panther" inspires quite some awe and respect in us, the audience that wishes Tom & Jerry was free.

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What?! Die Hard 2 is a pay-per-view movie!? Isn't it a basic human right to be able to watch this monument to the human condition?!

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Hotel TV blocks Tom & Jerry, but we can view the "erotic shopping channel". Lots of stuff is water proof. We're scarred. Oh, San Francisco.

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This tweet comes to you from the trunk of a Honda Jazz trundling through San Francisco. I saved a cab fare and it only cost me my dignity!

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It should've been a hint. Wandering through Japantown, San Francisco, my friend orders me a "sakebomb" and the waitress screams with joy.

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I am totally on a boat right now.

via mobile web from San Francisco, CA

What's that you say, Office Massage Chair? ... I see. I'll be right there.

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Wandering through Muir Woods on Saturday smelled just like Febreze® Redwood and Fresh Air™ - my compliments to the park authorities!

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How come one of the two football commentators is answering the other one in a foreign language? "Och aye, laddie, it's aboot noo that ye…"

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More "I'm in SF!" moments: checked out a python seminar last night and ended up playing beer pong with the dev team of @lolapps. They won.

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@matthewbuckland: no need. @Mike_FTW himself left a concise summary of everyone's reaction to the article as a comment on said article.

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@matthewbuckland: if your lazy journo had done four seconds of research, he'd know that @Mike_FTW is not @BPGlobalPR. Google the two names!

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OH later: "You don't even need to take your pants all the way off" - this was just walking down a street. I *know* I'm in San Francisco.

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OH at a red light: "They cherry-picked the datapoints! It's nothing falsifiable until you confirm..." Yeah, I'm definitely in San Francisco!

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So Apple's new HTML5™ has multitasking, HD video recording, FaceTime, and a glossy new finish that will make your ex-girlfriend cry?

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(The in-flight movie that I watched was Wall-E, which I frankly found somewhat unrealistic.)

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"I say, do you know your baby has been screaming the entire flight?" "No, I don't, but if you hum it, I'll try and sign along!" #badumtish

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Welcome to San Francisco. Please remain seated until the vehicle has reached a complete stop.

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(With gracious thanks to Dubai Airport for being the host, the enabler (via free wifi), and the reason for this 12 hour tweeting session)

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Right, let's try this again. Flight to California, Take Two. Action!

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Dubai is a modern, cosmopolitan airport. Which means men of ALL races frantically paw the air to try make those taps "automatically" turn on

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The passengers of Flight EK225 stampede madly from Gate 217 to the Emirates Restaurant to Gate 231, like a sweaty herd of jetsetting cattle.

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Travel Tip! Order a special in-flight meal: they will bring it first, before unceremoniously kicking you off the plane which was delayed.

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Mind, people often pay money to sit in bad seats and watch a film next to some dude who coughs. They just call it Cinema, not Delayed Flight

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Apparently a toilet was blocked, or there was a glitch in the in-flight entertainment or something. Whatever -we ain't flying right now.

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After four hours on the plane, we disembark to find ourselves still in Dubai. It was like a mini plane trip to right-back-here.

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There's a toddler screaming and crying in the boarding queue. It's quite clear from everyone's faces that they feel just the same way as him

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Never been a big fan of the airport Queue-to-Poo (tm) system.

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The sign says I'm in Dubai, the clock says it's 6am, my brain thinks it's 4am, and my body has no idea what I'm doing to it and why.

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Travel tip! After meticulously packing everything you need on your trip, don't check in the stuff you will need while actually in the air.

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OMG YOU GUYS. Guys. GUYS! OMG. You guys! Both Twilight movies are showing on my flight tomorrow! http://is.gd/cCwml

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Co-worker, who isn't going anywhere: "Okay, goodbye, have a good trip!"
Me, the barely-functional retard: "You too!"

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@alastairotter: your article's headline should read "Idiots complain because Safari demo page needs to be viewed in Safari"

via Kiwi in reply to alastairotter

Oh, and, yeah, I'll be gone until July 11th. So I can't help you with that stuff, or come to that thing. Or do that other thing. Sorry.

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(And, of course, I'm going to the XKCD meet - http://bit.ly/aYK7RB - gotta high-five my man Randall Munroe)

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(I'm gonna be at Velocity: http://en.oreilly.com/ve... and at DevOps Days: http://www.devopsdays.or... - anyone else?)

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In the final stretch of preparations before heading to California. Toothbrush: check. Passport: check. Do I need anything else?

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Like my old laundry, the new one is now the place where everybody knows my name. Only, for some reason, they "know" that it's Daniel...

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Yola How many designers does it take to make a checkout screen? http://twitpic.com/1sze6h

via Kiwi (retweeted on 12:03 PM, Jun 1st, 2010 via Kiwi)