Jonathan Hitchcock (@vhata)

Cape Town, South Africa

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @vhata ever

August 2010

Typo-ing "incidentally" as "indecently": it brings a whole new meaning to your words, and a whole new readability to your article.

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OH: "Hipsters are people too." Except, you're wrong.

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@lisaretief: since you used this next-gen platform to assign me that bit of work, I managed to complete it over a month ago! #resolved

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Twitter: it's the new Jira!

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I'll grant "emptiness is loneliness", but I've always felt that the Smashing Pumpkins' logic fell apart at "loneliness is cleanliness".

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@alphabetania: the reason twitter does the "hide @replies" thing is so that only people who are following the WHOLE conversation can see it.

via Twitterrific in reply to alphabetania

What's that, Facebook-friend-inviter-I-don't-recognise? We met at a seminar once? Well, I guess I should cut you spare keys for my flat!

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(Yeah, couldn't think of any ironic way to tweet about metrics that didn't leave open the possibility that I really might be enjoying them.)

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Calculating historical performance metrics aggregated across five webapps: so much fun that I thinzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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I shall write the spammer an angry reply, complaining that this sort of mediocrity and lack of effort is what's wrong with the world today.

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Spam message in its entirety: "I have a business for you please get back to me for more details" It's like they're not even trying any more.

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Listen, when I said I "love every song", I didn't realise they'd play "Mambo No. 5". I don't love that song. (But gosh, I do like it.)

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Good news: sushi! Bad news: sushi bar seems to be playing Best Of from about 1998. Worse news: I recognise and love every single song.

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Days that begin in duvet cocoons should naturally progress to reading on a balcony with a nice cold beer. It's the law.

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Unsure whether to describe this setup of five pillows, three cushions and two duvets as a "womb" or a "cocoon". Either way: so comfortable.

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@KateWilsonWH: it's spelled "antimacassar", and it's to protect the backs of chairs from the macassar oil in people's hair...

via web in reply to KateWilsonWH

Racing an HTTP timeout to work, and winning. It's the small things ["... that make you look like a complete nerd"].

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@alphabetania: why would you make your tweets private in the first place?

via Twitterrific in reply to alphabetania

Firefox needs a feature that tells you why a particular tab is open, who sent the link to you, and how it's taken you so long to notice it.

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The ANC's freedom charter (http://en.wikipedia.org/...) appears to... no longer... exist? http://is.gd/eEyJw

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The Internet is not a happy place for you when: you are disappointed by grammar articles being ungrammatical.

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Oh, Reader's Digest. Your article about saying things INCORRECTLY tells us that it's about "saying things wrong". *sigh* http://is.gd/eDcyb

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Wow, I was only, like, 20 minutes behind everybody else on *that* one.

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@JoDuxbury: not hyphenated! "internationally" qualifies "recognised", but could just as well be "locally", "galactically" or "very well"...

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@expat_erin: that has no effect on the veracity of my statement!

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Some of my most enjoyable afternoons on Twitter are when it's evening in Melbourne and @expat_erin is live-tweeting being drunk.

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You might be overdoing it if: the cistern turning itself on makes you skrik and nearly poep your broeks. (Related: Afrikaans is awesome.)

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@CranberryPerson: you think you got it hard? I have the same problem, but with "Legally Blonde 2". Yes, 2!

via TweetDeck in reply to CranberryPerson

Does this second burger make me look fat?

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(Having to leave out the apostrophe in "whats" in that last tweet for authentic twifficiency-ness may have nearly killed me.)

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My twifficiency score is SHUTUP SERIOUSLY HOW ARE THESE THINGS STILL A THING? MY GOD, PEOPLE. Whats yours? http://twifficiency.com/

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iPhoto Faces is *excellent* at recognizing that the blonde in the veil is my sister (at her wedding). Recognizing anyone else? Not so much.

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"Use caution when removing lid - steam may escape". And? Am I supposed to stop the steam from making its break for freedom?

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niartuag# lb4od2/moc.ciptiwt//:ptth :siht no tsaf neppilf yllaer (kcab) gnilevart :sutats tnerruC http://is.gd/ehjHV

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You think you're being witty, retweeting my tweet about twits retweeting retweets of tweets by #tech4africa twits?

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It's fascinating watching the #tech4africa delegates retweeting each other tweeting about tweets about what they're each tweeting about.

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.@RianVdM's content strategy explanation cracks up everyone but the payfine girl, whose nervous smile slowly turns to a rictus #tech4africa

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This is me, growing as a person, maturing, and *not* tweeting about the typo I just spotted in the #tech4africa slides.

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The instrumental piano version of "Don't Cry For Me Argentina" playing at breakfast did nothing to help.

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Sartre thought all emotion was human facticity railing against an inability to change the world. Me, showering, emotional, railing, cold.

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I guess this bed and breakfast must charge extra for a shower that doesn't alternate between scalding hot and freezing cold.

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RT @other_delegate "Pithy phrase from talk that everybody else is also tweeting" @speaker_name <-- I agree! Good point! #tech4africa

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The #meshpotato from @stevesong reminds me of One Laptop Per Child in implementation and ideals, and, I fear, eventual fate. #tech4africa

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"Erin" comes *after* "Erik" in alphabetical order, @oneafrikan #tech4africa

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I love the progressive, emerging-technology way in which the #tech4africa "3 easy steps to getting connected" are labeled 1, 2, 3 and 4.

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Hah, I said "buzzing".

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The World Cup may be over, but soccer spirit is definitely still buzzing in Joburg: http://twitpic.com/2dqo2o http://twitpic.com/2dqoj8

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The soft cooing of a vuvuzela in my ear confirms to me that the train I am on is bound for Soccer City, South Africa vs GhBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

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@lisaretief: @TheGautrain's top speed is the *metric* really flippen fast, not imperial - it's the equivalent of 160km/h. #wheeeee

via TweetDeck in reply to lisaretief

Current status: traveling really flippen fast on this: http://twitpic.com/2do4bl #gautrain

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(By the way, Joburg, our airport is way better than yours. #nyanyanyanyanya)

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Flight made somewhat awkward by the guy in front of us being STUCK TO THE FACE of his poor long-suffering girlfriend the whole two hours...

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(Or, it would be beginning, if #kulula wasn't delayed. Again. That's three out of five flights they've managed to balls-up.)

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Related: wheee, class roadtrip to #tech4africa is beginning...

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(Just kidding. I already know I'm sitting with @Lara_Morris, @toast38coza and @ndorfin. Which is even worse luck.)

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About to get on my thirteenth flight in ten weeks. Already assuming I'll be sitting next to an overweight garlic eater.

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Just because they *are* out to get you, doesn't mean you're not paranoid.

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Man, I'm feeling jealous of the hobo singing his way down the road outside. That guy is *happy*! (Not like this guy: http://is.gd/eauaf )

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New theory: adding "japan" to any image search renders the original one void, but opens up a thousand new questions.

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@DustPuppy: are we done here?

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