Jonathan Hitchcock (@vhata)

Cape Town, South Africa

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @vhata ever

October 2010

Okay, 2010. No flying cars or nanobots, but when I get home from a wine festival, I make one call, and pizzagoodness gets delivered. Truce.

via YoruFukurou

Cassette's last song at Diemersfontein's "Pinotage on Tap" festival. Not a bad day, all considered. http://yfrog.com/76pglj

via Twitter for iPhone

Sun sets over the wine festival. I wonder what's on TV. Stupid crappy Africa. http://yfrog.com/3zz4bj

via Twitter for iPhone

WombatSam If you haven't seen a toddler staring thoughtfully into the distance with both index fingers up the same nostril, you haven't lived.

via Echofon (retweeted on 5:01 PM, Oct 30th, 2010 via Twitter for iPhone)

Sitting in the sun, food platters going past, pinotage and merlot on tap, band playing. Another crappy day in Africa. Ain't life hard?

via Twitter for iPhone

Make coffee in a juice glass, pour milk into your actual juice, walk into the door on your way out the kitchen. Have a great day.

via YoruFukurou

I'm growing as a person because I recognise that I will regret this in the morning, right? Which makes it okay, right? [he tweeted, at 2am]

via YoruFukurou

Feeling down? Tired? Thursday blues? General malaise? Watch this: http://is.gd/go4Pb - Feel better. Spring in your step. People are awesome.

via YoruFukurou

I guess that should be *Sexy* "Sinking Feeling That Your Life Is Unfulfilling And You Will Die Alone" costumes, since it is Halloween.

via YoruFukurou

Lazyweb: does anywhere in Cape Town stock "Sinking Feeling That Your Life Is Unfulfilling And You Will Die Alone" costumes for Halloween?

via YoruFukurou

OCD is reaching "you didn't spray deodorant completely evenly and in exactly equal quantities on both sides" levels.

via YoruFukurou

@ingridsinclair So, you're stating that you are absolutely certain that there are no absolutes? http://is.gd/gmw5A

via YoruFukurou in reply to ingridsinclair

I would probably have made this man president: http://is.gd/gmflB

via YoruFukurou

@WombatSam If only there were some way for you to show us that survey. Some manner in which you could direct us to it. If only.

via Twitterrific for Mac in reply to WombatSam

Note to coworker: You don't need to number each one of your list of points. Especially when you only have one point.

via Twitterrific for Mac

@ads_infinitum It's Monday night. Shouldn't you be livetweeting Team Hummus?

via Twitterrific for Mac

Dozily using <h*> tags to number your points instead of mark them up gives your page a pleasant Star Wars intro sort of look.

via Twitterrific for Mac

"PR6D:( The performance is sold out. Please, try another date." - Computicket is letting its developers write its error messages again.

via Twitterrific for Mac

@kringlan 'pan-' as a prefix means "all", but you probably want "dried up basin that used to be a lake".

via Twitterrific for Mac in reply to kringlan

I have no idea what I just did. I think I... signed up for something? What did I click on?

via Twitterrific for Mac

I ate some tofu, thinking it was feta. Now I know how tourists in Thailand feel when they realise that she is a he.

via Twitterrific for Mac

@Ashleigh_Martyn How soon do you need this impatience of yours to be fixed?

via Twitterrific for Mac in reply to Ashleigh_Martyn

Guys, I got to work, and there was this coffee, right, and, long story short, I'm a disgusting, disgusting person.

via Twitterrific for Mac

@frogandcode Took me a while, but I see where you're going now. You need to cache your Czech.

via web in reply to frogandcode

Our coffee machine is constipated.

via Twitterrific for Mac

I just had a whole conversation with a total stranger about cars. Automobiles! Motorvehicles! I might be a Real Boy after all!

via Twitterrific for Mac

Seriously, why is "likes to laugh" a thing people say about themselves? Are there people that don't? "Enjoys fun. Dislikes discomfort."

via Twitterrific for Mac

I'm not angry, twitter. Just disappointed.

via Twitterrific for Mac

@rigard with you. The article (which you mis-linked to, btw) should say "stuff on web may have privacy issues because the internet is kak".

via Twitterrific for Mac in reply to rigard

@rigard No, your lawn is closed, that's why "HTML5" is the preferred alternative, regardless of its problems - it's an open standard.

via web in reply to rigard

"Also, get off my lawn!", the angry Flash developer continued.

via Twitterrific for Mac

The UK's "National Schools Film Week" initiative should relax: nsfw.com *is* educational, and *does* have films.

via Twitterrific for Mac

Yes, that's in the news. But what about the Chilean minors? http://www.newsweek.com/...

via Twitterrific for Mac

It's like Groundhog Day, but with Chilean miners instead of groundhogs, and you know when it's going to end because CNN has a scoreboard.

via Twitterrific for Mac

Chilean miners: monotonous. Every 25 minutes, a head pops out and three women run over and start arguing over who is his favourite mistress.

via Twitterrific for Mac

@davewiner I read every word! Microsoft, you and I agree that overuse of phones is annoying. So they're implying we won't use their product?

via Twitterrific for Mac in reply to davewiner

@davewiner so wait. The ad is saying that people won't want to use the Microsoft phone as much as other phones? And that's... good? Really?

via Twitterrific for Mac in reply to davewiner

How did I ever get so fancy? Not only did I suit up today, but I am wearing cufflinks. CUFFLINKS, PEOPLE. #ISUD

via Twitterrific for Mac

clamhead Wait a second. If cars start driving themselves, how will we get where we need to go?

via web (retweeted on 12:29 AM, Oct 13th, 2010 via web)

@Jackyah333 Would you refuse to read a blog or online publication if their authors don't read your blog?

via web in reply to Jackyah333

@Jackyah333 Why would anybody want to follow you when all you talk about is how people don't follow you back? You clearly don't get twitter.

via web in reply to Jackyah333

I think I had a new speed record getting to work today, but I didn't time it, so it doesn't count. SO THAT'S HOW IT'S GOING TO BE, AGE 31?

via Twitterrific for Mac

For my next trick, I'll turn 31 years of existence into some credit card debt, a decent book collection, and a vast knowledge of pop-culture

via Twitterrific for Mac

I apologize to those followers who are used to my usual bile and vitriol, cynicism and sarcasm. I accidentally be'd Happy, sorry about that.

via Twitterrific for Mac

(Viva the Future, especially on a birthday. I'm "sitting home alone", but talking to five friends and two family members.)

via Twitterrific for Mac

I know we have no flying cars or robot servants, but I just had the best talk with my little sister, 9961km away, for free. Viva the Future!

via Twitterrific for Mac

Backing up all my stuff to Time Machine, so that I can restore in case being aged 31 sucks. That's how it works, right?

via Twitterrific for Mac

Q: What goes "cssssk... Ahhhh!" ?

A: The last beer of being-aged-30.

via Twitterrific for Mac

@WombatSam Wow, Africa is like the biggest country in the whole WORLD! (Is "India Part 2" what they're calling Pakistan these days?)

via Twitterrific for Mac in reply to WombatSam

Q: Is listening to Jeff Buckley's "Hallelujah" first thing on a Monday healthy? A: oh lordy lordy lordy no.

via Twitterrific for Mac

(That's a true story, by the way. It didn't make much sense to this soutie at the time, but I'd say it's fairly accurate.)

via Twitterrific for Mac

People are asking what's wrong, and why I'm not sleeping. I quote my doctor's professional, medical opinion: Ek trek my lyf deur my gat.

via Twitterrific for Mac

Just realized I've been to this sushi bar before, ages ago, on my 2nd date with an ex who tried to get me into "sushi". Well, she succeeded.

via Twitter for iPhone

jasonjordan Today is 10/10/10 NOT 10/10/10 you stupid Americans.

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 4:54 PM, Oct 10th, 2010 via web)

@alphabetania You can (currently) point the domain you purchased elsewhere to your free Yola site, for free.

via Twitterrific for Mac in reply to alphabetania

@oxo42 Why are you surprised? There's like 100,000 times more trousers than chainsaws in Britain, so they're 50,000 LESS dangerous.

via web in reply to oxo42

This is strangely unsatisfying.

via web

YES! #NewTwitter. They didn't forget me! They love me after all! YES! (So this is how Sandra Bullock felt when she finally got that Oscar?)

via web

Reasons to get some damn sleep, pt 3: you go to twitter.com and, for a second, think you've finally FINALLY got #newtwitter. ... Oh... Wait.

via Twitterrific for Mac

Sleep (cont): also useful in avoiding short, unpleasant crash-courses like "Firm Grip, the Breakability of Glass, and Cleaning Up Sucks 101"

via Twitterrific for Mac

Sleep: a vital ingredient in Not Running Red Lights because you auto-pilot forward when you see the *other* light go green.

via Twitter for iPhone

Wait, I know this one! I was totally reading about Picasso's Blue Period at quarter to one in the morning just last week!

via Twitterrific for Mac

How do you spell "die in a fire" when you mean "die in a fire but don't hate me for telling you so"?

via Twitterrific for Mac

I'm grateful for another chance to perfect the 4:30am no-sleep tweet. I'm also apologetic for fluffing it yet again.

via Twitter for iPhone

RianVDM I've now read Goldilocks 53 times this week, and the REAL mystery is why Mama and Papa bear are sleeping in separate beds.

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 6:16 PM, Oct 5th, 2010 via web)

Somebody seems to be in a bit of a hurry over at the Mail & Guardian (via @confluency) http://twitpic.com/2uw5rf

via Twitpic

@Jim_Holland Interesting factoid: if you'd checked January, July, October 2009 and October 2015, you'd stop retweeting lies.

via web in reply to Jim_Holland

Plus, that 4:30am tweet wasn't made any better for having been twooted at 5am.

via Twitter for iPhone

You'd think that lying awake tossing and turning all night would mean I had time to come up with a better 4:30am tweet than this, huh?

via Twitter for iPhone

"Arpita Srinivasan", "Bhimrao Chandrakant", "Nitya Sritharan". I wonder where your support centre is based. Dublin, right?

via Twitterrific for Mac

I was going to do that "Is it October already?" thing, but it's more honest to do the "Is it 2010 already? What happened to my life?" thing.

via Twitterrific for Mac

27bslash6 OK. go to http://www.physics.byu.e... and press up, up. down, down, left, right, left, right, b, a (during game z jumps, x dashes.)

via web (retweeted on 7:35 PM, Oct 1st, 2010 via web)

"Month" doesn't even rhyme with "punch". Stupid kids.

via Twitterrific for Mac