@tomwells80 It's coming off tomorrow.
Operation Movember: 100% complete (inc. hospital stay and coup-de-grace): http://is.gd/hZ5na
Just discovered somebody I've been routinely faving has been tweeting from a Blackberry. Betrayal!
YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
Sitting on my balcony. Watching Cape Town sun set. Sipping a chilled Semillon.
Smug as all hell.
You know what the difference between you and the winner of that competition that you didn't enter is?
@RianVDM It's that awful cloudy sauvignon-blanc, isn't it? The other wine shouldn't be even SEEN in its dreadful company.
Sorry. Sorry. None of you needed to read that. I'm going to go clean up and pull myself towards myself now.
Mother of Shiva, they just pulled two feet of tubing out of my stomach. Ever had your internal organs vacuumed? Gargh.
(Doc says I must shower and change my dressings, and then I can get out of hospital. *And* I can have a beer with the sunset tonight.)
#FF Three of my favourite funny Twitterettes: the lesbian Vader, the teacher-ex-Korea, and the one who is funny in office *and* home...
@runonthespot It's a recording of a full live concert that fits on two CDs. It's an album. It's long. Go buy McDonalds or something!
Bet @Yola's having a real sod of a time at its little "year-end party". Next time, I'll pick the venue, k? (Hint: I'll pick "hospital ward")
@runonthespot Think of it as ten minutes of the other instruments just restin'.
@runonthespot You're dead to me and your stupid starcon wannabe sucks and that song you wrote in 2nd year was awful. We all thought so.
Ever need to forget you're 31, with a surgical drain in your chest? Put Pink Floyd - Pulse on in your headphones, loud, and close your eyes.
@lisaretief "The Bilious Blues", I like it
@lisaretief me too :( I hope y'all have a good time. Not *too* good, but splendid nevertheless! I'll just...sit here...with no gallbladder.
Nurse didn't see me 5 minutes previously, hopping around the bathroom with both feet in one leg of my pants, cursing through gritted teeth.
Nurse thinks I'm the greatest genius, because I worked out how to pass the drip line through the arm of my fresh t-shirt when putting it on.
I'm so used to having so many drips and tags and things attached to me that I didn't notice that I was still wearing my (silent) earphones.
And before I forget: Happy Thursday to Asia, the Pacific Islands, Africa, Europe, South America, Canada, the Middle East, and Mexico!
At first I was all "what do I do with these gallstones in a jar?", and then I was all "what should I give my friends for Christmas?"...
@brittneyg I think you meant "drug".
Schadenfreude (n) 1. German word for how people star your tweets when you're writing about excruciating surgery being done upon your person.
They should have a different timezone for hospitals.
Amazon is all "yay long tail" and "yay we have rare books", but do they have "101 uses for gallstones"? THEY DO NOT.
Nurse just came by with an extra pillow, some antibiotics, and... a JAR FULL OF MY GALLSTONES. Guys, how do I feel about this? (They're red)
Fun fact: the guy they call to wheel you to/from surgery in a wheelchair is a "porter". I AM LUGGAGE.
Crikey, I don't look like the healthiest kernel on the cob, do I?
And my newly-received and newly-christened bear Ephesus makes a debut in my Movember photos: http://is.gd/hIeH2
Hello, twitter. I have no gall bladder.
I... I see a bright light...
Ain't no flights of angels, but these sleeping tablets should sing me to my rest. Bright and early for the slice-and-dice tomorrow! G'night!
You know what really brightens up your evening before surgery? Gall-Bladder spambots! Big-ups to @gallbladderhelp - you guys have my back.
New ward-mate #3's run down of his weekend sounds frankly frightful. Is it the plague? Is it The Plague? If he bites me, will I turn? Eek.
Newsflash! This just out! Tomorrow, 8am SAST, my gallbladder is to be from my chest untimely ripp'd!
Even from a hospital bed, Cape Town: the jacarandas swaying mauvely in the breeze, and Lion's Head in sharp blue contrast to the summer sky.
@1rene Is this some Dunning-Kruger conspiracy you're trying to pull on my follower list now?
@nickjackson Are you saying there's no twitting from the ever-after? ... This makes me re-think my life choices.
New ward-mate is being very evasive with his medical history questions. "Well, let's put it this way. I don't smoke *per se*..."
Maternal Nurse explains how to shower with a drip:
 Take drip out;
 Go shower;
 Put drip back in;
I hadn't considered that method!
Guys, guys, did you know they give you ice-cream in hospital?
Medical History Nurse says I should write "laparascopic cholecystectomy" on the form "in my own words". I think I'll just use those ones.
My drip feed got tangled in my laptop cord! #firstworldproblem
(That may be the painkillers they just jabbed in my left buttock talking...)
Charming other ward-mate Peter was stung by a swarm of wild bees - got the full story! Renal failure. Hospitals are exciting again!
Ho hum. I do not see the attraction of hospitals. This place is yawnsville.
In a hospital, when asked "what are you in for?", it seems "ten to fifteen, third-degree murder" doesn't go down so well.
(These gowns aren't half draughty in the nethers. It's difficult to protect my modesty!)
Anyway yeah, ultrasound confirms inflamed gall-bladder and gall-stones, but no "duct blockage" (eew). So, antibiotics, and surgery sometime.
Amusing story: they brought me a wheelchair to go for x-rays (why?), and Joshua McDrama hopped straight in. "It's not yours!" quoth Nurse.
Joshua the Drama Queen is leaving! His doctor told him to go home. He promptly demanded a wheelchair to take him to the car. Gonna miss him.
They just bled me with some newfangled form of leech. Next, an "ultrasound", to give them leverage to ask the gods what *exactly* ails me.
"Bradley B. is the Mayor of Cape Town Medi Clinic." ... "No tips here." ... Sometimes Foursquare gives us a glimpse of sad, untold stories.
Medical History Nurse has determined that I am 1.85 metres tall. I did not know that. (We did *not* weigh me.)
Medical History Nurse says "siestog" a lot.
He reached a crescendo with "it itches so much, I can't take it, mother!" and then appears to have swooned. Nurses stoically unimpressed.
Charming young feller in the next bed, Joshua, belongs in the Amateur Dramatics Society. Is literally screaming for a doctor. Such emotion!
Hey, y'all, send beer and tasty treats to bed G13, Cape Town Mediclinic, Hof Street! (Disguise it as something healthy. Cod liver oil?)
Here we go http://blip.fm/~yv5me
You'd think with all the bile I constantly spew at those around me, my gall-bladder would be just fine...
@RianVDM Certain Product Managers Might Want To Work On Their Bedside Manner.
What does one pack for a Night Out At The Hospital? Laptop, internet, portable harddrive, charger... Wait, will I need non-electronic stuff?
Fascinating reading of the day: http://is.gd/hA6aA
Who'd have thought he'd have the gall to diagnose *that*?
Suspiciously eyeing the other two patients in the shaman's waiting room. He's gonna see them first, isn't he? Hypochondriacs. Pah.
Off to see the witchdoctor.
Rammstein tickets go on sale today in Cape Town. Fitting, since "mein herz brennt" is an apt description of my current situation.
You take one single day off work due to an alien symbiote digesting your innards, and some newbie goes and steals your desk. The cheek.
The alien symbiote in my chest made me go to sleep at 9pm, and now I'm awake to see the sunrise. Li'l guy's not so bad after all...
Current status: http://is.gd/hxJpa
The Searing Pains would be a good name for a band if they weren't what I was having in my stomach/chest right now.
@RianVDM "I [...] affirm [...] mankind [is] nothing but a bundle [...] of different perceptions" -David Hume. How to believe, but by smell?!
This soccer game is the Waiting For Godot of the sports world.
Did you guys know that Paul McCartney was in another band before "Wings"?
Nah. Guitar groups are on the way out.
There are things I want to know about the Riemann Hypothesis and Judas Priest, but there are Creepy Jimmy Wales Stares I want to avoid. Hmm.
Why is everybody so worked up about a faded ex-superpower's internal airport security?
Just sang along to every single word in @tmbg's album "Flood", which I haven't listened to in a decade. But I can't remember to pay my rent.
"The porpoises were unavailable for comment." http://is.gd/gW1sC
@fuddlemark Another use for Twitter: staring at with scowling concentration while pretending to be sober at work.
Hey, all you boring people that can't find the fascinating stuff that is inherent in basically everything: http://is.gd/gTNWh
And we're back, just as the sky pales to a soft blue, the city starts twinkling to life, and a few solitary boats glimmer out in the bay.
Attention Cape Town: the Internet will be briefly taken offline while you all go outside and enjoy the sunset. Service restored in ~30 min.
What. That has got to be a stage name.
telkomza Sorry we don't list our shops' telephone numbers on our website - we haven't managed to get the lines installed yet.
@WombatSam I haven't opened my fridge in weeks, so I can't say definitively whether you'll find any in there, but...
After sampling a number of very fine single malts at the Whisky Festival, I've decided that red meat and house wine at HQ is on the cards.
-- United States of America, 11/2/2010
Youtube: video of 8pen on an Android phone. Similar videos: a cover of Radiohead's "Paranoid Android" by some Dutch teen band.
The good Doctor is on first.
@alphabetania No, the ones you dislike aren't anything but westerners counting syllables 5-7-5. You'd like real haiku if you read them.
I always knew I reminded myself of somebody famous: http://is.gd/gBSHN
mygreenjacket The music on the City of Johannesburg call centre helpline is surprisingly peaceful. No gunshots whatsoever!