Look at me. Now look at your man. Now back to me. I'm on an elephant.
Wait, so I'm sipping banana cocktail in the warm sea, with palms behind me, and y'all are glued to the telly watching some Brit celeb show?
Stumbled out of bed in Bangkok, onto a plane to Krabi, and suddenly I'm in a bungalow on the most idyllic beach in the world...
Wanna know how I really know I'm in Thailand? Because I ate a grasshopper. Deep fried.
Suits acquired, Thai massage endured, and malaria scare avoided. Basically ticking off the entire Thailand to-do list pretty fast.
Impromptu dance party in the dining car on the sleeper train from Chiang Mai back to Bangkok! Everybody simg along to ABBA! Y.M.C.A.!
This update brought to you via dodgy Edge on a Kindle, barrelling through the Thai countryside on an overnight train to Chang Mai.
Bangkok: Khaosan Rd, Green curry, Haggling, Chang, Tuktuk ride, Canal tour, Wat Pho, Reclining Buddha, Grand Palace, Massage, Suit fitting!
Passport angst: the traveller's malaise that can be ameliorated, but never, ever, ever quite goes away.
Slept like a baby on the cold airport floor: bench feet have never been better pillows.
Doha, 3:30am. My fellow travellers are asleep, and I'm sipping illegal whisky from a Pepsi cup and tweeting from my Kindle...
Travel tip: when the lady at the checkin counter says "enjoy your flight", don't say "Thanks! You too!"
@freddienew Touché good sir. Next time I do this, you and Kate should come with me!
Hey remember that time I went to America, like a month ago? Can you remember what I packed? Because I need to pack for Thailand and no idea.
Went to the shop and bought one potato, one tomato, one squash, one tub of yoghurt, one minute steak. YES I LIVE BY MYSELF WHY DO YOU ASK.
@yodelmachine I guess it's never come up, as most of them seem to have had their heads chopped off soon after. It's a hard knock life!
@yodelmachine Edward VIII was made Duke of Windsor after he abdicated, but generally they're not kings any more than ex-CEOs are CEOs.
I would totally buy my veggies from this guy: http://is.gd/Jmd6H7
@runonthespot Yes, if you call "a pub in Heathrow Terminal 3" London. (I'm in transit between San Francisco and Cape Town.)
I recognize these passages. I must be at Heathrow again.
thisfog Some days, reciting "Dunning-Kruger" over and over is all that gets me through the internet.
@hfordsa shows up in the most unexpected of places.
@cerephic What's that in kilometres? I'm still struggling with your fluid ounces and Fahrenheit.
@cerephic I'm a-listening!
I've moved from the park to the rooftop of my building to my balcony to the lounge, and I can't find a place where this day isn't STUNNING.
Reading in a San Francisco park with coffee and a turkey sandwich, surrounded by cherry blossom. So *this* is why people cone to America!
Some guy in an apartment across the road is spying on me checking out all the apartments across the road! Flaming cheek!
This is not actually Charles Babbage (who died in 1871) http://t.co/JbzF2y8
Just watched Charles Babbage's Difference Engine (first calculator ever designed) work out an eighth polynomial: http://t.co/V02Joj8
I'm inside Facebook Headquarters. They've redecorated since the movie was filmed. More coffee machines, for a start.
Currently challenging mainstream heteronormative gender stereotypes. (That is to say, playing "is it a He or a She?" on the CalTrain.)
It's good that Stephen Hawking has managed to find employment post-Nobel-prize, as train announcer for the San Francisco BART...